Randy Auxier was raised on the banks of the Mississippi in Memphis, Tennessee, except for when the river was in flood stage. Then he would move up from the banks to the bluffs along side the river. But then one evening while Randy was sorting through his collection of indigenous butterfly droppings, Elvis took pity on him and invited him to live in Graceland. During the years that Randy stayed there, Elvis taught him how to play the guitar and hold his liquor. It was during this time that Randy discovered his love for music, especially the soothing sounds of Zanphyr.

All was well until an incident involving Lisa Marie, a jelly doughnut, and a spatula caused Randy’s ousting from Graceland. Asked later, Randy said, “I can now see that the spatula was a bad idea, but hindsight is 20/20.” He considered moving back to the banks of the river, but Mud Island had been inconveniently developed right on his favorite spot, so instead he enrolled at Memphis State University.

While at MSU Randy formed The Shakes with some buddies. The Shakes were unique in that their drummer often performed naked and completely covered in Crisco. During one particular gig, the drummer's drum stick slipped from his Crisco-covered hand, went sailing across the stage, and struck Randy on the back of the head, causing a gash that required 27 stitches. This ended Randy's stint with the Shakes and also caused him to question his life purpose. He thought to himself: "I want to make a real difference in this world - change people's lives - solve the world's problems - own a pair of sensible shoes. I shall become a Folk Singer, or maybe a Cosmetologist. No, definitely a Folk Singer. And while I'm at it, I'll become a Doctor of Philosophy. That should be handy for something."

And so off Randy (and his wife Gaye, whom he met while a counselor at a summer camp where they spent their days separating young loves and confiscating pot) went to Atlanta to attend Emory University. While searching for a place to live, they saw a quaint home they thought they would enjoy, so they moved in. You see, the current owner, Robert Hoyt, was away on vacation but had left the back door unlocked. Well, to make a short story longer, because of some turn-of-the-century "squatter's rights" law never removed from the books, Randy and Gaye became the new owners of the house. But Robert was a good sport about it and to show there were no hard feelings, agreed to form the Quixotics with Randy. Their claim to fame was their ability to play "Tambourine Man" non-stop for an entire 45 minute set at each show, if they so chose. Needless to say, their popularity dwindled, most likely because they had no tambourine player and who can be expected to listen to "Tambourine Man" for 45 minutes without ever hearing the tambourine? There was also a rumor they knew all the verses, but could not sing them in the allotted time. So Randy finished up his Doctorate at Emory and off to Oklahoma City they went.

As luck would have it, his Doctorate in Philosophy DID come in handy, as Oklahoma City University needed a math professor. During the interview, Randy was able to convince them that teaching students math was far too "ivory-tower" and abstract and wouldn't Philosophy be a much more practical subject for the young minds. They agreed and so Randy began teaching about To Quo Que's and the Dewey Decimal system and other tenets of Philosophy.

One Saturday evening, while enjoying a half-caf-double-twist-full-nelson-latte and taking in the music at Galileo, a long-haired-hippie-communist-looking young man asked Randy if the extra seat at the table was taken. Randy said it wasn't, so as not to appear rude, but secretly hoping the guy would just move on. But he didn't and so since he was there, and the guy (Jim Preble) played guitar and sang pretty good, they formed Enough Rope. They had the longest running gig in town until the owner of Galileo finally figured out the same twelve guys were showing up at the Open Mic Night every week. That, and a job offer from Southern Illinois University ended the Enough Rope run.

Since moving to the Carbondale area in the Year of Our Lord 2000, Randy has become something of a musical jack of one trade, prostituting his meager talents for whichever musical john would pay the most, teaching philosophy for his daily fare. In the course of this effort to survive he was required by law to record and release his latest CD Southwind –part of a community service sentence laid upon him by a very twisted judge using something he called “the discretion of the bench.” Go figure. 

This bio is mostly lies, and even the lies are getting dated.  Click here for the truth.